Hi Folks! There are still a couple of spots open for Readings at Kingfly tonight! Come join us. We'd Love to see you.
4:00 - 6:00PM
Kingfly Spirits
2613 Smallman Street
Pittsburgh, PA 15222
The 4 of Wands - Empaths: Finding your Tribe
Spiritual Marriage, Fellowship & Tribe
Astro Sign: Jupiter in Aries
Time Frame: Until Mid-March 2023
It’s summer-time here in the United States and we’ve just celebrated Memorial Day. A time to pause and honor the veterans that have served our country through its most difficult challenges. Many
have sacrificed their inner and outer peace and others their entire lives. A powerful way of showing respect is by Celebrating the life and freedoms that we share, after all that’s what’s been and being fought for.
We see this so clearly with the Russian/Ukraine war, the attempt by Russia to brutally pummel a beautiful country out of its sovereignty and autonomy, to unrightfully claim its inner resources. This is an attempt to force the Ukraine back into an unnatural union. To go backwards in time and make things the way ‘they used to be'. This looks a lot like patriarchal, domestic abuse to me, just on a much larger scale. And it’s just plain awful to watch.
The narcissist-empath connection is more pronounced now than it has ever been. At a time when it’s so important that we come together for health and healing, distrust could leave one feeling isolated and alienated, not sure which direction to take. If your an empath and you’ve survived narcissist abuse you understand how challenging this can be. I applaud your healing and you have my respect.
The feelings of unworthiness and distrust due to psychological game-playing, gaslighting, selfishness, control and the repeated charge and counter-charge and then eventually being discarded for ‘something better’ can undermine self-confidence and self-respect, leaving one depleted, disconnected, unfulfilled and burned-out. Even for the strongest of people.
This can leave one too exhausted to discern between what is safe, loving and true and what is actually a real threat. The triggers can loom large and they can seemingly come out of nowhere. Taking your attention out of your head and into your body goes a long way here.
If you’ve experienced the Narcissist-Empath dynamic I can relate, my heart goes out to you. After all, I’m an Empath, I grew up with Narcissists, and then of course experienced the same dynamic periodically throughout my adult life with both friends and lovers.
This dynamic has inserted a large question mark into every connection I make, especially the one with myself. It’s, at times, left me distrustful, distant, aloof and frightened not only from others but myself as well. That’s a gap that’s being filled and a bridge to the heart is being rebuilt. Less is more and slow-going is a good approach, even if others don’t understand.
Now, I’m also an adventurous Soul who’s driven, intelligent, funny, passionate, intuitive, stubborn, loving, playful and honest so this can be pretty painful at times. I know that I’m on the the right path, I absolutely love connecting with and seeing people. I have so much that I’d like to offer as well as so much that I’d like to see and do in this complicated and beautiful world.
Yet, I hold myself back. So, I’ve had to look at this to find out why.
I’ve had to look at some deep wounds that I allow to limit me and to take responsibility for my own well-being and autonomy. I call it self-authority (The Emperor). To heal my neglected inner child and protect her to the best of my ability. My mistakes were not valuing her enough and exposing her to situations that weren’t in her best interests. I’d say I’m pensive, at times.
So, the work that I’ve been doing during my time of solitude and silence is to achieve what’s called
the Spiritual Marriage, the 4 of Wands. This is the healing that occurs when your inner masculine and feminine get back on the same page and find their groove again. Hello Stella! Funnily enough this didn’t involve meeting a young, handsome man, it involved letting one go. Ironic, I suppose.
I’m reclaiming joy, power, energy, vitality and most importantly…Truth. I’ve married myself and I promise you this union is Divinely orchestrated. I've done this with a firm belief in consciousness, a Universe that’s perfectly aligned and with the support of my Team and my helpers, both inwardly and outwardly.
I thank God and Goddess that I’ve had the honor of Attuning some of the finest Healers and have had the best Teachers, as well as Collaborative Businesses in the area.
Their practicing their craft with me has added an incredible amount of power to my healing. All set up by Spirit, universal and natural law as well as the dignified parts of society.
I’m truly appreciative of their patience with me. And they have been!
In the I-Ching, the Spiritual Marriage is hexagram 24, Return, marking a return to your real self, a coming together of your conflicted parts and addressing the deepest of wounds to restore peace. It’s retrieving the parts of your soul that have been spirited away by molesters, predators, liars and thieves largely due to their own cruel mental constructs.
Sometimes, we need to see a Shaman to help us with this. I most certainly have and I recommend Shamanistic activities for anyone who’s feeling them.
The journey toward healing is a powerfully arduous path and yet one that’s worth the work. The results are tremendous and exceptionally fulfilling. This begins with A LOT of rest and rejuvenation as well as fun and simplicity. Then you’ve got the energy to summon your power from your own shadow side, the place where you’ve tucked it away because it was unable to be expressed, it just wasn’t safe. This can create rage that’s buried deeply within and it needs a safe outlet. Left unchecked this can affect our health through the vein of depression, anxiety and negative emotions.
Release guilt and judgment and know that the Healing Path is The Path.
Let go of as much as you can. Continuously. Over and over again.
No doubt, at this point, you’re recognizing your wounds and have began seeing a counselor, are having readings, gotten a life-coach, improved your diet, began an intense self-care regimen, started journaling, separated from old friend groups (mostly because the memories are to painful and it keeps you locked into outdated roles that keep you stuck), maybe you’ve moved, found a new job, began creative projects, created healthy boundaries, committed to an enduring spiritual path and are now ready to find the right relationships and communities…you’re starting over.
That’s all the 4 of Wands!
Finding your tribe requires experimentation, openness and trust. It’s an inner examination as well as a willingness to see the truth of what’s there with connections be they business, friendship or romantic.
Your tribe could include the partner that’s right for you. That’s the 4 of Wands, as well. Balance, harmony and alignment.
The first step is to really see by asking questions and trusting your gut. Don’t turn a blind-eye to the red-flags, see them and trust yourself to navigate through them. Some situations are workable, some aren’t. Let that be okay. Enjoy the good ones! Let yourself want what's good for you.
One way to find out if a situation is right for you is to speak your mind, authentically yet respectfully and watch the reaction or reactions. If there’s a thoughtful response keep going, if not it may not be right.
Other ways are to look for these attributes: Are there healthy goals and habits, is there joy and openness, humor and fun, are folks grounded and upright, is equality and respect valued, is there
trust and openness inherent in the situation, does it challenge you in the right ways, is it inspirational, philosophical or thoughtful, is transformation and change sought out, is it innovative? Is there honesty?
Not all of these traits will be there but they’re good cues as to what’s happening.
And the easiest way to discern is this; folks will show you who they are within 10 minutes of meeting them. This isn’t to be judged harshly if someone is having a bad day, it’s in how they deal with it that’s the clue.
And yet even more ways to find your tribe are to go to events that interest you. Do you like music? Find the music festivals and go. Are you and Environmentalist? Volunteer your time. Do you like to paint, find a painting group/class. Are you interested in Tarot? Come to my Tarot Classes. Are you interested in Coding? Take a class. Are you a healer? Find the healers and invite them in. Are you a Gardner? Audubon anyone? On and on.
You may want to begin with group events that way you can be involved without too much exposure and very little risk. Talk with one or two people that you haven’t met before and practice engaging as the person you are now as compared to how you have been in the past.
It's good to set yourself up for success and go slowly. The healing path is one that lasts a lifetime and with some willingness, devotion, trust and authenticity can be fulfilling, fun, loving and adventurous… again.
Rock on with your bad self. You’ve made it this far, you’re amazing, brilliant and brave. Shaken, stirred and now with a twist.
Much Love,
Rebecca
Rebecca is a Spiritual Mentor, Professional Tarot Card Reader, Medium, Reiki Master & Teacher & Meditation/Shamanic Drum Facilitator. She’s been practicing professionally since 2002 and is proud to be working in collaboration with so many gifted and talented professionals in the Pittsburgh area. Rebecca resides and works on the East End with her zen master and therapy cat Sampson. For more information go to Readingswithrebecca.com.